She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
