we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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