I'm drive I can fine osifer
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
