I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize