on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
