That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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