Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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