I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize