This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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