I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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