i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
