just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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