I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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