I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
