PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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