I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
