I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
