Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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