Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize