So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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