She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize