My first STD was from a foam party
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
