i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize