The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Randomize
