I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
that is very illegal...i love you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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