what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
