so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
