Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
