im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
