one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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