Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
