No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It's just like the Real World with babies
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
