So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
