ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
