why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
