bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
