I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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