btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
