Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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