actually, I'm a sock model
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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