Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I bet he comes in French.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
is that a dick in a sweater?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
