he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Are we still banned from the library?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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