Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
