Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
