This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Two words: blizzard sex
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
