One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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