But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Its about making memories worth repressing
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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