I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
