he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
