wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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