Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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