Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
