so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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