it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
