If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
