Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I am available for nakedness
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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