Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
